No matter how well we live our lives, somebody won’t like it. How should we respond to those who can’t or won’t understand us? Should we be defensive? There are two reasons we never need to respond defensively to the negative evaluation about us. First, if we are wrong, we don’t have a defense. If the criticism is valid, any defensiveness on our part would be an explanation at best and a lie at worst. Second, if we are right we don’t require a defense (refer: 1 Peter 2:21-23). If we are truthful, the Righteous Judge, who knows who we are and what we have done, will acquit us.
If we can learn not to be defensive when someone attacks us, we may have a prospect to turn the situation around and show them that we are not bogus Christians. It will provide us a chance to unravel the difference between Christianity and ‘churchianity’ (courtesy Sadhu Sundar Sing, the missionary par excellence). Our commitment is to Christ our Lord, not to the World (1 Peter 2:4; John 17:14-16).
One of the main reasons of our craving for defensiveness is overcosnsciousness of our rights at the expense our responsibilities. Satan will persuade and convince us to focus on rights in stead of our responsibilities. For example, a husband may chip at his wife because he thinks he has a right to expect her to be submissive. A wife may nag her husband because she expects him to be a perfect husband. Parents harass their children because they think that it is their right to demand obedience. Members may quarrel in the church when they think their rights have been violated.
No culture can withstand such kind of self-centered orientation. Husbands, having a submissive wife is not your right; but being a loving, caring husband is your responsibility. Similarly, wives, having a spiritual husband is not your right; but being a supportive and understanding wife is your responsibility. Parents, expecting your children to obey you is not your right; but disciplining your children in the fear of the Lord is your responsibility. Being a member of the church, body of Christ, is an incredible privilege, not a right. This privilege leaves with us the amazing responsibility to behave as God’s children. He will reward us for how well we fulfilled our responsibilities.
Let me conclude, anybody can find character faults in another person. But “it takes the grace of God to look beyond an impulsive Peter to see in him the rock of the Jerusalem church. It takes the grace of God to look beyond Paul the persecutor to see in him Paul the apostle”. So as we live day by day with people who are less than saintly in their behaviour--and who see us the same way-- may I unassumingly say, “If it is peace we want, seek to change ourselves, not other people. It is easier to protect our feet with sandals than to carpet the whole of the earth”.
If we can learn not to be defensive when someone attacks us, we may have a prospect to turn the situation around and show them that we are not bogus Christians. It will provide us a chance to unravel the difference between Christianity and ‘churchianity’ (courtesy Sadhu Sundar Sing, the missionary par excellence). Our commitment is to Christ our Lord, not to the World (1 Peter 2:4; John 17:14-16).
One of the main reasons of our craving for defensiveness is overcosnsciousness of our rights at the expense our responsibilities. Satan will persuade and convince us to focus on rights in stead of our responsibilities. For example, a husband may chip at his wife because he thinks he has a right to expect her to be submissive. A wife may nag her husband because she expects him to be a perfect husband. Parents harass their children because they think that it is their right to demand obedience. Members may quarrel in the church when they think their rights have been violated.
No culture can withstand such kind of self-centered orientation. Husbands, having a submissive wife is not your right; but being a loving, caring husband is your responsibility. Similarly, wives, having a spiritual husband is not your right; but being a supportive and understanding wife is your responsibility. Parents, expecting your children to obey you is not your right; but disciplining your children in the fear of the Lord is your responsibility. Being a member of the church, body of Christ, is an incredible privilege, not a right. This privilege leaves with us the amazing responsibility to behave as God’s children. He will reward us for how well we fulfilled our responsibilities.
Let me conclude, anybody can find character faults in another person. But “it takes the grace of God to look beyond an impulsive Peter to see in him the rock of the Jerusalem church. It takes the grace of God to look beyond Paul the persecutor to see in him Paul the apostle”. So as we live day by day with people who are less than saintly in their behaviour--and who see us the same way-- may I unassumingly say, “If it is peace we want, seek to change ourselves, not other people. It is easier to protect our feet with sandals than to carpet the whole of the earth”.
